Bringing Home Baby

Just so you know!

About a week ago I noticed that randomly I would realize how real this all is and burst into tears of happiness, anxiety, nervousness, overwhelming emotion. Usually this happens at very inopportune times like while I'm driving home from the store or while I'm AT the store.

As the week has progressed, those realizations have come closer together and more frequently. Like the contractions of labor. And tonight, I am a wreck! I will soon go to sleep and wake up and be on my last day in this house as a mother of three little boys. My life will forever be changed. My boys' lives will forever be changed. I am not feeling particularly afraid or elated as much as just overwhelming pure raw emotion of unnamed origin.

My friend Carolyn warned me and now I am warning you. But maybe not everyone feels this way and, anyway, there is no way I could possibly convey in words what it feels like to be about to embark on this journey to my daughter, a half world away.

A little while ago I wrote this incredibly cocky and self-righteous post about how prepared I am, how ahead of the game I am. While it is true that I am ahead of my little lists I've made for myself - so much so that I have had way too much free time today - how silly I was to think that I am PREPARED! I could shop and buy and clean and pack and plan and make lists and nothing will ever make me PREPARED for the moment I meet my daughter.

I sat down to check my blog ticker. I wanted to watch it count down for a minute. It is just about to flip over from 2 days to 1 day. Eeek.

And I will be your sword
And I will be your might
And I will watch over you like a satellite
And I will be your days
And I will be your nights
And I will watch over you just like a satellite
Just like a satellite

Comments:

I am so excited for you. What an intense lag of the journey you are embarking on. WOO WHOO! ANd BREATHE DEEPLY. Go rock Vietnam Mama and bring home that sweet babe!

# posted by

mellow & yellow : 8:16 PM, October 26, 2006

I can't wait to follow along !!

# posted by

randomsugarwords : 8:17 PM, October 26, 2006

I understand those feeling completely. So many feelings will melt away into one, when you first hold your baby girl.
I'm so excited for you and please try to keep us all updated.
Take care and have an amazing, unforgetable trip to your daughter's birth country. Tell the boys congrats on becoming big brothers!

# posted by

Sarah : 11:18 PM, October 26, 2006

I completely understand all those feelings...that combination of excited, terrified, & emotional, crying at every little thing. This will be the most incredible journey for your whole family. It is such a special time. Enjoy every second of it and I can't wait to hear all about the trip and your precious little one. Addison, your Mommy's on the way at last!!!

# posted by

Anonymous : 2:32 AM, October 27, 2006

I just wanted to wish you safe travels! I am very excited for you and can't wait to hear your updates!

# posted by

RollerCoaster : 9:53 AM, October 27, 2006

One day, you are about to see your sweet baby girl. I can't wait to see pictures and hear all about your trip. I am impatiently awaiting to have that sick feeling myself. Happy travels and post her picture!!

# posted by

Sherri : 11:54 AM, October 27, 2006

Nicki,

I sooo understand. I actually had a panic attack the last night before I left because it dawned on me that I'd be leaving as a mother of three, the youngest 10 and returning the mother of four, the new yougest age 2. I had a complete freak-out. I felt like I was starting all over again and it dawned on me that I wasn't too sure I was as ready as I'd thougt I was. But as soon as you see your little one it does go away. And, you're going to have all your kids with you, so that'll make it easier too. I can't wait to hear how things go. I'm very happy for you and so excited for you to finally hold your little girl!

Melissa

# posted by

Mia's Mommy : 3:34 PM, October 27, 2006

Just letting you know I'm thinking about you Nicki.

# posted by

Anonymous : 5:08 PM, October 27, 2006

That anonymous that's thinking about you would be me LOL
Christa

# posted by

Anonymous : 5:10 PM, October 27, 2006

I watched your ticker change from 17 to 16 hours, are you puking yet? I am so glad you are taking off and hope so badly that I am able to meet up with you. Not that you are held over, but that we travel sooner!
Take care and know that there are a slew of us that will be daily looking for your updates.

# posted by

jenn : 7:09 PM, October 27, 2006

Good luck, Nicki. I am so excited for you and can't wait to meet Addy when you guys get back.

# posted by

Miranda : 7:39 PM, October 27, 2006

OMG my love I am bawling my eyes out :-) I am so very happy for you and your family! I keep thinking of how lucky sweet Addison is. She has the best mommy and family ever!!!!! Congrats to all and D,T,and N...YAY on being big brothers! They are the 3 best brothers a sweet girl could ask for.

I love ya'll sooooo much!!!

# posted by

Leslie : 8:50 PM, October 27, 2006

It's finally here, Nicki! Time to go meet your baby girl. Have a wonderful trip and post often. We're all going to be with you in spirit. Can't wait to see photos. Bon voyage!

# posted by

Susan : 12:50 AM, October 28, 2006

I really do come to your blog a zillion times a day and check your ticker. I just cannot belive that you are leaving on THIS day. I consider Addison and Lucy sisters. I am following your blog with much anticipation, so post EVERY day. Please, know how much I appreciate you as a friend!!

# posted by

Kelly : 1:18 AM, October 28, 2006