That's how old Addison is today. 5 months old! 5 months of orphanage life. 5 months without a Mother or a Father. 5 months of growing and learning and understanding the world through a whole different lens than what she will soon experience.

According to Baby Center
Addison should be learning to roll over and entertain herself by playing with her hands and feet. I am pleased to note that, based on her latest pictures, she has hit both of these milestones.

It goes on to say that she can also recognize her name and turn toward sounds. This makes me feel guilty for even considering changing her name to Addison. I have a long history of guilt when it comes to given names. Both of my current dogs came with names, neither of which I could bring myself to change despite hating the names. Really silly, particularly with our newest dog, since he was a new tiny puppy when we brought him home. It doesn't help me to know that her name was likely chosen by the orphanage she resides in. If she can recognize it, somehow it feels like she owns it. It is a part of her. How do I just opt to strip that part of who she is?

It goes on to say that she may be learning to sit momentarily without support. She may be mouthing things. And ::cringe:: she may be experiencing stranger anxiety. Meet me: stranger. Stranger Mommy. I hope, selfishly, that living in an orphanage makes stranger anxiety less intense. At the same time, I know it is a sign of a well bonded baby and I definitely hope she is bonding and feeling love toward her nannies.

I know that in the grand scheme of one's lifetime, 5 months is hardly anything. But it is everything for her, her entire lifetime, the sum total of all her experiences to date. I miss sharing that with her.

Soon enough, my sweet baby girl, soon enough. Hopefully we will celebrate six fingers together.