Have you ever felt like you had a huge huge laundry list of things to do and no motivation? Not just no motivation but something holding you back? And maybe not just any something but something you can't quite pin-point? That has been me for the last several weeks.

I have had a long and growing list of things to do. Deadlines pressing. And I wasn't making real headway on any of them. I was experiencing more and more anxiety about not making any progress and feeling so stuck and overwhelmed. Last night I sort of cracked. I felt like so many people were needing and expecting so much from me, all at once. And I just coudln't catch up. I'm pretty good at saying 'no' but, unfortunately it usually comes too late after I've already made plans or committed. Which leaves everyone, including me, feeling pretty disappointed and let down. Not cool.

Well I finally figured out what was plugging the dam! Of all things, it was a quilt square swap. Not just any quilt square swap but the Mother of all swaps. It is called the Around the World swap and involves picking a country and creating an informational page on that country and sending it, along with a square of cloth representing your country, to each participant. My country of choice was - you guessed it - Vietnam. Anyway, it has been fun but overwhelming. When I initially signed up, there weren't many participants but by the end, there were 83!!!! That is 83 squares of fabric with 83 informational sheets and 83 address labels and 83 envelopes and postage for 83 different places on envelopes weighing different weights. I have put it off and put it off. But today is the deadline and I have never been late sending out a swap and this won't be any exception, darnit. So we knocked it out last night and today it is ready to roll! I feel so accomplished.

And sure enough, with it, the dam has burst. I feel eager to clean the house (!!), bust out that new floor cleaner that is still in the box, start cutting out for Addison's 100 Good Wishes quilt, start the scrapbooks for the above mentioned World quilt swap, etc. I even started making lists - travel lists!

Speaking of travel lists.....

Does it seem over the top that I have an entire college-bound notebook page PLUS part of another devoted to nothing but medications to bring with us? Is this ridiculous? Because it seems ridiculous. But I can't figure out another way to do it. What do you leave off? Here's the problem. I'm bringing 3 kids ages 4, 9 and 12. And our baby will be around 6 months old. So she can use infant meds, but the 4 and 9 year olds will need kid meds and then there are the adult meds we need to bring. Our oldest son, at a whoppin' 70 lbs, can go either way with the meds. But either way, whatever we bring, we need 3 versions of. Therefore the list is very very long. Thank goodness none of us take any sort of prescription drug on top of the OTC precautionary stuff! Will we be stopped by customs for having an entire suitcase filled with meds? I had considered also bringing medications for the orphanage but now I'm second-guessing that. And for those who have brought or are planning to bring antibiotics, do you bring them just for the baby or for yourselves as well? I'm wondering if my doctor will have a cow if we ask for six antibiotic prescriptions? HELP!!!!!!

Incidentally, thank you so much for all the empathetic comments about fear of heights and how it doesn't necessarily equate to fear of flying. That helps. I have not flown a lot (exactly twice - once to Las Vegas and once to NYC). My fear of flying isn't pronounced and I am not really sure it has anything to do with my *very* pronounced fear of heights. I just know that when I was freaking out on that dumb ferris wheel, airplanes were on my mind!! I am hoping there turns out to be no relationship and once we get into the flight, I will be fine. I don't have huge issues with landing and I don't think I have huge issues with the take-off. It's just the unknown that freaks me out (anyone who emails me knows my sig-line acts as my constant reminder about why this is unncessary). I am feeling a lot better after reading those comments. A *lot* better!