1) My dogs have a fun new habit. They do this as soon as anyone gets up out of their seat sensing opportunity. They know it is naughty. I don't know what to do about it! They are clearly dumb since they never touch the open bag of dog food in the open pantry or dig through the garbage like normal dogs. They won't even pee outside. They are total sissy cat-dogs. Don't tell them I told you that.

2)In lieu of screens, my kids just homeschool all day "for fun". They do craft projects with their baby brother. They listen to A Story of the World Vol. 4 on cd for *fun* tearing open the package that arrives from Amazon as if it contains the greatest Lego set in the world. Clearly, despite the home education, the boys aren't all that swift either because otherwise surely they would be more openly hostile without their favorite video games, television and computer time. Intelligent or manipulative. One of those. Of course they were manipulative enough to stay up all night playing video games in their room, thus earning said restriction.

3)In lieu of homeschooling, my 4 year old throws huge tantrums that sound like "How will I EVER LEARN TO READ" screamed at the top of his lungs through sobs while throwing his body on the ground over and over. Why such a travisty? Noah was in a silly mood. I would ask him to sound out the letter "e" and he would respond "tree". Cute. But not. So I canceled "school" for the day. You can do that when your kid is 4. I did give him a million "chances" and a serious lecture about just giving me a few minutes of his attention to no avail. But when I made good on it, his whole world fell apart. I wonder how long it will be before he stops seeing schooling as a privilege. My plan is never.

4) Childhood obesity's hidden risk: standing on dresser drawers. Thank goodness I have a skinny lightweight. Otherwise the boy who used the dresser as a climbing gym today would have either broken the beautifully constructed natural pine drawers right off the drawer slides or he would have had the entire 4.5 foot tall 200 lb dresser plus large heavy tv plus dvr plus dvd player plus various dvds come crashing down on him. Or both. So add that to the list why childhood obesity should be avoided right along with increased risk for diabetes, high cholesterol, high blood pressure and poor self-esteem. Or at least use wall anchors.

5) Boys without good small motor skills but great imaginations are a tantrum in the making. After fifteen sheets of colored construction paper and many tears of frustration, Noah finally asked if *I* would draw the cool creature in his head. Because I'm such a good artist - a fact every person in my home might quickly dispute. I've never had images of anything in my head in my life! Is this a disability? Do I have a disease?

6) Speaking of this, I was watching a recorded Primetime Medical Mysteries (because clearly my anxiety about all things medical needs further compounding) and found out about a disorder where people don't recognize facial features. Like any good disorder or disease there is, of course, an online quiz. Which I failed. So if you see me walking by, don't feel obligated to say hello. I won't recognize you anyway!