So yesterday was the last get-together with my best friend who has spent the last 3 weeks up here visiting. I'm not particularly social, by nature, but these last few weeks really drove home how isolated I've been up here in The Grand Ole Country and how badly I need out. I know enough to know that having a friend who you really mesh with AND whose kids your kids really love is a rare find, indeed. But still, it seems less and less likely that I'll find even one of those components here in TGOC where my neighbors make my skin crawl and driving to my other "local" friends whom I *do* love is an all-day event.

I've never quite had an itch to get out of here like I have this last month. I want to be gone, yesterday. I resisted the urge to leave while my friend was in town but now she's gone and there's nothing stopping me. So, if I up and disappear you know where I will be....or rather where I *won't* be!

I'm sorry to say there is no adoption news. You know, I'm feeling grateful for my odd detachedness to this point of the process. I'm anxious to travel, no doubt, but it isn't ruling my days. I'm not sitting by the phone, I'm not wishing the days would hurry up, I'm not losing sleep. That said, I hope to hear more in the next week or two about what month we might travel in. At that point all bets are off. I might be fine, I might become hysterical. Your guess is as good as mine - I've never done this before. Until then, I'm in denial that we are actually adopting. I close my eyes and can't quite imagine us in Vietnam, I can't quite imagine us at the orphanage, I can't quite imagine us holding Addison and loving on her, I can't quite imagine what she will look like at 6 months old, whether she will smile or cry or WHAT she might do. There is no vision in my head of how these things will be. So for now, I just wait patiently. Detached. Oblivious. Curious but some things in life are too big to be clearly imagined up front.